Hmm..

I don't know how much longer we have jobs. The middle managers tell us what they've been told to tell us: don't worry, they'll still need us. We add the: for now.

No doubt, a large proportion of the 100 or so staff will now be looking for similar jobs elsewhere. But I'm not sure that's even a plan. They'd be in for huge salary drops and if we're struggling, chances are other firms in this industy are too. Furthermore, there'd be too many of us going for a handfull of available jobs.

It's a hovering dark cloud, everytime it comes into my thoughts. But strangely I'm not sick to my stomach like I was a few months ago when we first started hearing rumours. I think maybe I've realised that worry does nothing to solve a situation and makes you very unhappy.

My priority is that under no circumstances am I forced to return home. That is the be all and end all of everything for me. The single most important thing in my life. Not because my family are monsters, but because I've paid my dues, I've earned the right to have my own life and my own space after 29 years at home playing third parent to the children and sometimes first parent to the adults.

I will have to endeavour to save more, to ensure I have enough to cover rent long enough to find something else should it come to that. It may have to be a complete change of career, who knows in this financial climate. Don't worry, be happy :)